I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
