its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
