omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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