Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
