Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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