You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
