I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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