he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
