i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
