So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
