just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
