Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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