oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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