I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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