my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
