What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
