Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize