Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
