how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
