ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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