Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize