I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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