he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
