I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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