You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
