Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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