Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
