Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need a beard to bite.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
