so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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