Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
