I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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