Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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