I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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