The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
