He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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