never play flip cup with pint glasses
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.