When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
