Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
