yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
