but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
