I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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