I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
