Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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