I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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