Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
