whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
