nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I pour the whiskey from now on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
