Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
