I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
