So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
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I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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