I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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