And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
