yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
