return my video game
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
