I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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