we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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