Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
