So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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