I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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