I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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