In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
