OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
