are you still at the devil's house?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
