Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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