I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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