i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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