i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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