This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
